The Struggle Babe

So I went in for my Pre op appt this morning and had some bombs dropped on me. 1. Ive lost yet another 5 pounds, duh 2. My surgery is postponed 3. My Dr had to postpone my surgery because her boss thinks it important to put me thru an incredibly painful test for IC or painful bladder syndrome that wont matter and so the surgery will still have to happen but they wanna do this first = more time like this and more prolonged pain. 4. My Dr strongly feels that all this sickness is totally GI and in no way related so that means seeking out more Dr's. Even though my last trip to the hospital said oh go to the OBGYN cause thats where we feel your problems are. So now im in a game of shuffle around the sick patient. I foolishly pinned way to many hopes on the idea that the surgery would find all my answers and thus render me able to be fixed up and on my way in no time. So all this news hit me in the worse way today. Im frustrated and dont know what to do and all my reasoning seems ...

It hurts me When you point out my limitations When you boldly state that you hope my next treatment fixes me When you offer me food that you know I cant have without getting very sick When you dont allow me the option to be upset or over emotional once in awhile When you dont listen When you say you will do something but then dont When you dont take responsibility for any role you play that causes hurt feelings When I dont hear from you in days When you ask how I am and make it clear you dont really want to know but are just being courteous. When I see you enjoying your life and doing as you please When you drama queen about meaningless things (we are all guilty of this) When you put extra expectations on me When you treat me like a child When you lack compassion When you act like im to fragile for the truth When you make excuses When you dont consider how I must feel going thru all this When you bring levity to the table when I really need an ear or shoulder When y...

Today I am starting my story after 4 years, I am 28 years old and I have been so sick it's turned my life on its head for 4 years now. I spent years expecting major change or some sort of miracle that has not come, Ive realized how hard this is on my friends and family, my poor mother cries over it more then I do. So for my own sanity and for theirs Ive chosen to move as much of my struggling and venting as I can here to this blog and that way it saves them the extra worries and stresses and it helps me cry on the shoulder of my blog when it gets to much to handle. So let me start out with an update on my life at this moment, I will more then likely leave most of the last 4 years in the past and post from here out on whats happening, though I do promise to share some of the things ive learned in that time. Without further delay: This has been one of the worst weeks ive had in ages, my wallet was stolen 2 days ago and that was a huge mess, so so huge. I now have no money a...