The Struggle Babe

"You were BORN sick" my mother said to me over the phone a few years ago now. Id been telling her of my illness saga and that was all she could really say. My birth parents lost custody of me right before my 5th birthday so she was mostly clueless as to what my life had been and yet there was no surprise in her hearing of what I was going through and with that phrase "You were born sick" I suddenly realized something about my life that id hidden even from myself, Id been in denial about being a lifetime sick person. Like how does that even happen? In hindsight I can say, How does a person not notice they have been sick for nearly 30 years? Ninjas!!! Ok maybe not Ninja's but that would make this whole story easier to explain. So how do I give you a bit of history without boring you to tears? The cliff notes (But still a lot) version goes a little something like this: At 18 months I was hospitalized with a near deadly case of the measles, while visiting ...

I'm sure right now you are thinking "What do you mean happiness is a drag, have you lost your happiness hating mind." Yes, I'm 99.7% sure I have lost my mind but let me explain. Happiness as we all know is like the holy grail, we all in some way or another are in search for "Happiness" like its some sort of destination and once we've made it there we have been truly successful. Intellectually most of us realize that isn't the case at all and that happiness is moments, experiences and connections; they are what make life worth living. Beyond that even, happiness is neurotransmitters and chemicals Endorphins,Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin. You and your sunny disposition is a chemical cocktail my friend. This is were I find myself in a trouble area. Like everyone else I just want to be happy, though its never seemed to come as easily to me as it did my peers and always left me fairly quickly leaving anxiety and the dreaded "Feeling...

 But he may not have been "Shakespeare" either.. Ok ok I know that's just a conspiracy theory but its a fun and compelling idea that Shakespeare didn't actually write his plays and poems. But beyond that easy to fall down rabbit hole, he is known as the Master of  Comedy and Tragedy writing. Creating heartbreaking moments that transcended into the realms of so absurd you'd have to laugh. Voltaire and many other writers past and present have strived to prefect the art of mixing tragedy with comedy to the delight of readers for a long time...eons.... like forever really. While considering restarting this blog I kept asking myself " How do you make a sad story NOT sad?" Because I have many stories Id like to tell and there's a heaping crapton of sad in there unfortunately. But sad doesn't help people. I want my writings here to help people or have some value even if its just entertainment value. That's where I landed in Shakespeare's lap...