Blogging from bed

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Im trying to get better at blogging more often and not just when I can't hold my frustrations in any longer. So here I am and what can I say for sure?

Well with much conviction I can say for sure that every single one of us has our moments of weakness. I had one myself last night and spent the day today beating myself up when I realized that I was being unreasonable as to what I'm holding myself to.

Last night I needed to eat something, anything with a real flavor something that would make me not feel so restricted. So I ate one single solitary Oreo cookie, and yes I paid for that moment of 'weakness' I got so sick that I ever woke every few moments all thru the night feeling nauseous and dizzy and all thru the day today I struggled thru sick and pain.. Over one stupid cookie.

I know that yes indeed it's my own fault but I don't think it's reasonable to continually get mad with myself and beat myself up over the effects of a disease that IS NOT my fault.
It is within my nature , human nature to not only need to eat but to want to and to enjoy it. That ensures our survival.

So what I'm fighting here isn't just Gastroparesis but also instinct and nature.

It is also very human to faultier and have moments of weakness, it is that which I think we all fight as much as we can. We never want to fail or to be weak, but this is life and it's how we handle those moments that show our true strength.

So I pose to you not to be so hard on yourself in moments of weakness, be kind to yourself and learn what you can from each of them.

I've learned that Oreo's are not my friends..lol and that sometimes I have to learn things the hard way.

It's time to try and get some rest but thank you for reading
-Gwen



Comments

bairdduvessa said…
oreos may not have been the best choice for first food in a while.
September 6, 2011 at 7:44 PM
Gwendolyn said…
It was just one of them and all the numbers fit to the levels I have to keep to. Also it wasnt the first food id had in awhile.. ive been eating the same bland stuff daily and just needed something with flavor... in the past when sick they were one of the few things I could eat so I honestly had no real reason to worry.. It was a calculated risk that was a failure. wah wah live and learn I guess..
September 6, 2011 at 10:17 PM
bairdduvessa said…
oh. yea i understand then.
September 6, 2011 at 10:48 PM
Will Uter said…
That's quite a price to pay for something so insignificant as an Oreo. Fate has been so unkind to you.
September 7, 2011 at 9:10 PM
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